Christmas and All

It was Holiday Season 2015.

The party went long and hard into the night. Me, Myself, and I - we were all present and faithfully stuck around though nothing of a festive nature appeared. 

That was right; I could see nothing that even came close to resembling Christmas.

No cheery gatherings surrounded with relatives. No icy windowpanes. No lovely carols floating through a crisp, cold winter's night.

Far, far away from home, a pity party entertained me as I drifted off to sleep on Christmas Eve. 

Oh, don't get me wrong, mission trips are great and all, but we'd been traveling long and hard for weeks already. Yes, God was indeed so good to our family as we took this mission together. Come to think of it, we really did seen His hand at work in such marvelous ways.

However, the greatness of God's mercy wasn't exactly in the forefront of my thoughts at that moment.

It so happened that country A, where we lived, had Christmas as its designated major holiday. Of course, we were not in country A on December 25, but country B, which observed not Christmas. Country B, however, had a different date for its own major holiday, which when that took place, we were obviously back in country A.

"Why?" I had thought. "Why? Can't we get to celebrate anything? As in, have something special that we could look forward to annually?"

During a time when many were hoping for white Christmases, I was walking around in a tropical field, adorned with banana trees. Despite taking a recent shower, I was drenched in sticky sweat when I decided to return to my metaphysical party. I thought of my surroundings. Instead of pine tree studded with shiny objects, I beheld a gangly plant with swollen papayas protruding forthwith. Completely devoid of Christmas lights, festive music, and anything Christmas-y, I sunk deeper and deeper into the Pit of Pity.

All this time, a thought came back to me. Quite a while ago, our family had written a Christmas tract starting with something along the lines of "Is Christmas about Santa? Is Christmas about cookies? Is Christmas about gifts? No, Christmas is about the greatest Gift given - Jesus."
And now, that same concept came back to me. I obviously didn't have the regular Christmas fare, but if I really believed that He is all, and He was enough, the lack of holiday decor wouldn't matter at all. For both theoretic and practical, my trust that Jesus is all would negate all need for outward traditions.

Yet those things obviously mattered to me. A lot. The sweltering weather played a large role in fueling my dear pity party. Christmas ought to be cold! And wonderfully festive, with delightful gatherings amongst relatives and dear friends. And that is what Christmas ought to be.

Or was it?

Of course not. As Christians, we know that. but deep down, that's what my painting of the perfect Christmas.

And reality didn't even come close. We were living out of backpacks, sitting on trains, exerting all our effort into serving, far away from all known relatives and hints of Christmas cheer as the holidays ran their course in lands elsewhere. Running to and fro everywhere for a month straight, my nerves were not in the state of carefree bliss.

This party, the only holiday party I participated in, lasted a long time. I continued to wallow in the depths of self pity for months to follow. Of course, I didn't attend it every minute of every waking hour, but whenever I saw the door to the party and was reminded of my own pathetic Christmas, I would again join the miserable partying.

But without ceasing, Jesus would come to me invite me into His presence - where fullness of joy abode. But to my dismay, I did not dwell in His place of refuge, joy, and cheer continually.  But praise Him, He performs the good work He begins to the very end (Phil. 1:6). Slowly I begun to realize that those special holiday traditions I clung onto had been taken away for a special reason - to remove distractions from before me and draw me close to Him.

Today is Christmas Eve once again. I'm in country A, enjoying one of the best holiday seasons I can recall. We spent the morning caroling in the chill weather and are now enjoying the warm fellowship of the holidays with relatives. There are no lack of lights, wrapping paper, or sumptuous fare.

But those things don't hold such a dear place in my heart anymore.

I'm far from finishing this lesson on turning from the room where pity parties run rampant to go to presence, or party, if you will, of my Jesus my Savior, my All in All. ALL.

But I'm starting to realize that the "miserable, pathetic Christmas" last year wasn't so bad at all. Our family was together, enjoying a beautiful, somewhat more relaxed time together in the warm weather. We had the encouragement of other believers. That season of intense ministry was extremely sweet and very rewarding. We grew so much closer as a family, as a team. We experienced God in a new way.
And those earthly, temporal treasures of the holidays that I valued so deeply are faded away.

He's all that matters. It definitely hurt to see those Christmas traditions go. But it's worth it. Because He is ALL.

These past couple weeks have been full of His goodness. When I see the frost sparkling at me through the window and taste the peppermint-y goodness of candy canes once again, all I can do is thank Him.

Jesus - 'Tis the reason... for everything.